Life is so much more complex than what meets the eye

ok so i havent been on livejournal for the longest time cause i have been insanely busy with work and everything else. i have been so busy it doesnt even seem like christmas or whatever. i catn even believe that its this saturday i havent even shopped yet. and thats one of the main reasons i got this job was to get money for these types of things. oh damn. well tomorrow im shopping i guess. but everything has been sooo crazy. so i met a guy. he was adorable. and really awesome at first.. but then it turned to shit cause obviously he was just using me and so yeah that didnt work. and i have been in kind of a mood ever since that.. but friends have been awesome through it all and its been awesome. i hung out with a old friend the other night and it was so wonderful. i havent been so happy in so long. i loved it. and we really connected discussing issues of our past. tonight... i went out with andrew. it was awesome. but i got reminded of *ugh* and it stuck in my mind. like everywhere we went it was like a re run. so yeah i miss alot of people right now.. and im getting all weird. so im off. gooodnight

YAY I GOT MY USED TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just had to add that in and let everyone know : )

great i am bored once again!! well today i havent done anything yet and i dont know what to do. but yah i havent written since thursday i think or maybe even before that. well anyway. friday was a great day. haha eric came and hung out with me at lunch and then we went to science together and we worked on the lab together. he is so sweet. it was his birthday on friday he was 16 lol cause he is only a sophmore. but yah he is so sweet. and then that night gohar and jeran puch and gohars eric came over and we watched movies and just hung out and it was cool. and then we went with jeran to take puch home he was acting really weird and we dont know what was up i think it was cause of his "attraction" to gohar. cause yah her and eric and then he was looking and me and jeran alot too and he was just being weird. and then gohar stayed the night we talkes about alot of things and then in the morning my mom bought us starbucks and then me and her were on the computer for a little while and then we took her home and then i was going to hang out with eric and sara but he ended up going to supercross and so that never happened. and i went over to gohars and then like a half hour later we went back to my house and we just hung out and took pictures and such. and it was pretty funny. and then her eric came and picked her up. and then i went to bed and then i got up this morning and i went to church. and then gohar called me and she is going to go and buy my used ticket for me. i am exited to go. and we were talking about how lol hilltop girls have a thing for bonita guys named eric haha. thats comedy. well i am going to go and call sara now so bye....

today was a really fun day. first off i got starbucks this morning and i couldnt stop moving and then i made some friends in my first period they are really nice i think most of them are freshman. but yah they are cool. then.... 2nd period i saw jeran and he was all julian!!!!!!!! and we talked non stop all 2nd period cause we are definately having some second thoughts about my friend being straight cause omg some things he says lol he is hillarious though and then we just had a fun time lol.and then i met up with gohar and jon and we all talked and puch was acting really funny. and then i went to connect crew and i got my kids i am so exited. its going to be so much fun. i am scared i am going to get some kids that dont speak any english. lol and then i was walking to 4th and i run into gohar and other jon (the one i have a crush on) and i was late just to walk with them and i was acting soooo retarted but we invited to go with us out this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!1 woo woo i cant wait i am all exited. well i hope he goes cause yah *cough* that would be uh cool..... ; ) hehe.. yah so i am exited about that. then..... i went to 4th and it was lame and i went pee lol and then 5th...... boring well i wrote jeran a longgg letter in our book so that kept me busy. then 6th woooooo.. that was great lol. well first off i get in there and the student teacher apologizes to me and it was funny then i sit in there and i wanna tell meagan who i have a major crush on but i didnt get to it cause omg.. this new guy came into my class and can we say hotttttttttie!!!!!!!!! omg i was like checking him out the whole period and i wanted to show him to gohar but i never got around to it. but woooooo hottie!! lol yah and then gohar came over after school and we went to old navy and then we went and got a salad and then came home ate it. and then we blasted music and danced it was hillarious. good times. haha. well and then i went and worked out and then yah i am where i am now and i am tired. well i have to go.. now tootles

i went out last night with jeran,gohar, and puch. we had sooo much fun jeran drove and he is a really good driver. well our adventure started out that he couldnt find my house and he kept going the wrong way. and so that took like a half hour to get him to find it. lol and then then we all got situated and figured out what we were going to do first and so first we went to hillcrest and we had to pay 5.00 for parking which sucked cause we werent there for that long for like a half hour to 45 minutes and but in that time we went to coffee bean so puch could get a black forest cause he is sooooo obsessed with those and so we had to go and get one and so then after that we went to corvette diner so gohar could use the bathroom we were going to eat there but there was sooo many freaking people there and so it was basically pointless and so then we went pee and met some cheerleaders from santa rosa i think and they were really sweet, then we saw gohars waiter that is so hott and he got like all weird when se saw us and then we left corvette diner and we went to the car and were all mad cause we wasted 5.00 for parking. then we were off to belmont park to ride the rollercoaster and that was hillarious puch screamed like a girl the whole time and i was like dude!!!!!! shut up lol and then we got off the ride and he couldnt stop talking he was talking non stop and it was all shut up puch enough!!!!!!! and then we were off to islands to eat and we couldnt find the place but then we finally did and we ate and talked and jeran stole puchs cherry and he got all mad cause he thought that i ate it and i was all dude i didnt and he was all i know you did and so yah that was some entertainment then jeran freaked the waitress out when he told her to come over that he had to tell her something personal when he was just telling her that it was gohars birthday so we could get a free dessert and it was sooo hillarious and we sang happy birthday really loud and everyone looked at us. haha and then we didnt know what to do next and so we decided to go to the girls league dance lol and we danced outside and saw some hot guys but they were really stupid and then we went over to this bench and got on top of it and danced on it and then gohar wanted to go back to where this fountain thingy was and on our way over there mrs minjares saw us and made mr zammudio (sp?) and the hot cop come out and threaten us to leave or they would get the cvpd on us and we were like okay okay... and so we took thier balloons and left. so after that we had nooo clue what to do gohar wanted to go to the carnival at plaza bonita and we got there and it was closed and so she called eric her ex to see what he was doing and we went over to where he was skating and met up with him me puch and jeran didnt really want to socialize with them so jeran kinda was trying to teach me and puch how to drive and to puch drove around the block he wasnt that bad at all he just couldnt turn and then freaked me out when he started going fast and lost control of the car. and then i drove and omg that was hillarious.. hahahahaha it was stop and go the whole time and i made reallly sudden stops and it jerked everyone lol and it was soooooooo scary when i was going down hill i was sooooo scared . and then we got back and i couldnt parallel park so jeran had to park the car for me. so then that was funny and then we asked gohar if she wanted to leave with us or with him and she decided to go with us and so then we went and got gas for the car and i called my dad to see if he could let me stay out till 1 and we got in this whole arguement cause he wouldnt let me but yah we ended up going home at 12 anyway. but we went to hollywood video so puch could use the bathroom which he went pee freaking like 50 times... lol talk about over active bladder.. and we hid from him and kinda ran around hollywood video and then left and then we went through the taco bell drive through and it wasnt open and so we just drove though and then we went to drop puch off and then we went by vons so gohar could get cake mix for her brothers birthday today but they were closed and so then we dropped gohar off and then jeran took me home. and i got in the house about 12:10 and it was all cool. i had so much fun. were going to go out again on valentines day i think we might go to spaghetti factory. well yah so that was my adventure. lol it was fun! but yah today i am really cleaning my room cause i have to get it ready to paint. which is going to happen soon i cant wait its going to look sooo cool. well i have to go now so yah tootles

I SWEAR ITS THAT STUPID LIP BALM ITS MAKING ME LOOK ALL VIRGIN LIKE HAHAHAHA WAIT I AM MWAHAHAHAHA




take the virgin-whore dichotomy quiz.


and go to mewing.net. where we're all studs.

fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shoot me right now! i hate this stupd shit!!!!!!!!! fuck well today was the fucking worst day ever!!! well first and formost one of my friends is all mad at me for no reason . saying that she isnt talking to me cause im probably talking shit about her..... yah right !!!!!!! i have not been talking any crap about anyone!!!! im not even mad at her yah sure i am mad at the situation cause i am being wrongfully accused of something!!!! i mean i am sorry that she cant go tomorrow i was trying to do things to maybe to get her to go. i mean me and jeran spent all period thinking of ways she could go and i perfectly understand that she doesnt want to lie. and she doesnt have to. but yah i try and be nice and think of her but i get shit isnt that great. so yah that was one part of my fucking horrible day. then my dad calls me in 6th period and usually mr miranda lets us accept calls in his class and we have this student teacher in there now and he comes up to me and yells give me the phone!! and i was all no! hold on its my dad and he was all i dont care give me the phone i was all fuck hold on and so then i hang up and put my phone in my purse and he goes into my purse and takes it out what a fucker. and teachers arent allowed to go through your stuff. and so then he took my phone and so then ........ the class is almost over and he comes over and says heres your phone make sure to turn your phone off before you come to class and i was all okay but i dont appreciate you going through my purse and then he kept saying it over and over and i told him all loud im not going to turn off my phone and you cant make me and he got all mad and left! fuck i hate this shit i just wanna get this off my mind . i mean its like nothing i do is right .... well usually it never is................ well i have to go .........

i got home from school a little while ago. well today i had a okay day nothing really special happened well a little something but i will get to that later! well anyway. yah i have been really busy with school now that i have alot of different classes and thats cool i kinda miss my old classes cause i dont have puch and i miss him now.. i want my puchie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o well i will survive but yah i now have connect crew and its really cool despite the fact that troll is in my class i dont like that she makes me uncomfterble but o well. i dont care.. but yah anyway. well my little thing today some guy i have a little crush on smiled at me today when he walked by my class lol!! i am such a dork i guess it was just really akward cause i was thinking about him and then all the sudden there he is wow looking straight at me and smiling. it was total deja vu! and it kinda startled me for a second but then i was in amazement after the fact lol! but anyway. my tutor hasent been coming over lately and i needed help on my math in my 4th period i am not getting it but maybe i will who knows i will just try to read on. i just dont want to get in the bad habit of not turning in my work again! so yah i have to do something about it maybe on monday i will go to tutoring or something that might just do me good! lol well anywho i have been listening to bjork non stop i am in love with the song bachelorette i didnt realize how powerful that song was until i saw the video that jonathan let me borrow last night i was all wow i mean her voice it sooo powerful in it.. i loove it i was like listening to it alllllllll day today! but yah i wanna see these pictures that i took today well actually i didnt take them puch did lol but yah i wanna see them maybe if i have any good ones i will put them on here later. but yah this weekend is girls league were all not going .. i didnt really have the urge to go i mean there was no one to ask or anything so yah . but maybe we all might all dress up and go to corvette diner and stuff and that sounds cool . i hope it goes through, cause yah sometimes things dont go through... but anyways i have to go now tootles

well last nigght i went to the show with heather and it was cool. well puch went with us and he was so funny and i got a good laugh from him i havent had one of those laughs where i cant talk in awhile lol! but yah we had a little drama but not much i got really mad and annoyed but im over it. but the bands were really good i really liked toxic narcotic and GBH.. the other bands were good too. but yah my brother and his friend cane with us and they were kind of quiet the whole time i think it was an experience for them.. lol but yah. then GBH went on forever and i was like shit !! my mom was supposed to come and pick us up at like 10:30 and heather was in the mosh pit and none of us wanted to go in and get her so... we had to like wait till she decided to come out and finally she did and so then it was cool except that my mom was like yelling her head off at me on my cell phone but it ended up all okay in the end. today me and heather are going to hang out and maybe go and tan. theres nothing else to do today but who better to share my day with but heather.. of course!! :) so yah were not going to do anything too exited cause the fact that she is bruised from last night. but we will make fun out of it we usually do! so thats my day lol !! well thats it tootles'!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY KITTY

finally its over woo woo well i guess you could say that itwas cool that we got out early like every day and so that was cool but i hate testing and so yah i am glad its over!! i am so happy i went to my councelor today and she told me that i didnt have to go to learining center and so i was sooooo happy and that i can stay in school but i have to pass all my class and if i do that then that will be awesome and whats also really cool is that i get connect crew next semester weeeee!!! i soooo wanted to get into that and so i am soooo happy. and whats even better is that heather is in it thats really cool we havent had a class together since 8th grade and so i am exited about that ! so yah i need to pass all my classes next semester and from now on and i have to go to adult school its only two times a week and so thats awesome. yah and then i am also soooooooo mad because my stupid drivers ed teacher told me that i could come and makeup my tests after school today and he wasnt there and so i am sooooo mad cause i did all this makeup work and i was all ready for the tests i am sooooo mad cause now i dont know whats going to happen and then it makes me soo mad cause i know that i didnt miss all those tests and so yah that sucks ass and so more than likely my grade is going to suck!!!!!!!! i have to go and yell at him tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! and i will too!! stupid mr carter!!!!!!! but anywho. this weekend were going to the show.. they arent really my kind of music and i dont know the bands but heather likes them and she can finally go to a show and so thats cool for her. and my brother and his friend are going too i dont know whats going to happen but i dont want any shit to happen cause i will get really mad and just leave if i have to! cause my brother has a tendency to be a baby at times i think he is getting over it and i hope he is but man if anything happens i am going to be so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but we will see. well i have to go now tootles!

BUFF HEATHER WOO WOO

well today was the first day of finals and it was okay i mean my drivers ed test was not that hard and then my physical/earth science was kind of hard cause it was one of those stupid district tests and they are the most retarted things ever cause they never put anything on there thats on the course outline that they give to the teacher to teach so yah i was kidn of mad but o well i am over it! yah so school went okay it was my second day of going vegan and it was really good i got my first veggie delight sandwich at subway and it wasnt all that bad and so then i was all okay then i might just get this more often. but yah and then i made a salad for heather and i to eat at school and then for dinner right now i had vegitarian (sp?) chilli and so that was good i even added some tabasco to give it a little kick! woo woo! yah and i had a apple. but so that was good i am really feeling good about this i mean i am actually devoed to it so far usually i get off track like the second day i am so proud! then i went to heathers sisters work and tanned it was my first time so i was a little nervous about doing things right or wrong but i think i did it right and it was cool but then i got burnt between my fingers and that was the funniest thing it was itchy but it burned and i was all ahhhhh!!! but it went away but it was really cool and when we went to subway there was a whole bunch of people from school there and some of the guys were kinda cute and i was lookin like a tomato lol but it was okay! yah but that was cool i wanna start tanning. weee yah but i have one of my math finals tomorrow and then a us history one which i know is going to be a sinch cause my teacher doesnt really have us do anything in that class anyway so that will be cool and then maybe i will just do a little studying for my math class as well... well i must go now tootles!

What band.....
Reminds you of an ex-lover: there isnt just one i have many
Reminds you of an ex-friend: lol they arent a band but spice girls
Makes you cry: none
Makes you laugh: who killed bambi-sex pistols (have to agree with heather on this one)
Makes you smile: she isnt a band but bjork makes me smile
You never want to hear again: that annoying around the world song!!! i hate it!!
Sums up your teenage years: hmmm thats a hard one
You want to get married to: oh my love my darling... roy orbison
You like to wake up to: x ray spex
You like out of your parents record collection: like my dads frank sinatra and my moms beatles
You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: x ray spex
You love the video more than the tune: no i dont watch videos
Reminds you of your first crush love: i dont remember
Reminds you of your now crush love: none
Makes you think of sex: the people who sing that when i think about you i touch myself
Makes you think of being alone: nothing
Has only been released recently but you love already: i dont have any new cds.
Are you embarrassed to admit you like: me and heathers jellyfish jam
Perks you up: x ray spex and bjork
you love to sing to: ohoooo dream weaver i believe you get me through the night!!!! lol

[Four beverages you drink frequently]
1. iced tea
2. water
3. water
4. water

[Four TV shows you liked when you were a little kid]
1. Kids incorporated
2.mickey mouse club
3. Under the Umbrella tree
4. mr rogers neighborhood


[Four places to go in your area]
1. hillcrest (im putting all of san diego cause there isnt shit just in chula vista)
2. las americas
3. belmont park
4. fashion valley

[Four things to do when you're bored]
1. go on the computer
2.sew
3. work on my scrapbook
4. eat (terrible habit)

[Four things that never fail to cheer you up]
1. a good talk with my mom
2. a movie
3.friends..heather...
4. shopping definately

[Four things you can't live without]
1. Friends
2. Computer
3. shopping
4. family

[About ten years ago *list three things*]
1. i loved hello kitty
2. i was 6 years old
3.cooties

[About four years ago *list three things*]
1. i met heather
2. i got in a fight
3. alot of drama

[about one year ago *list three things*]
1. i felt like i had no friends
2. depressed
3. i liked chris

[Today...]
1. i went to hillcrest
2. talked on the phone with jonathan
3. was my first day of being vegan

[Seven things you love]
1.heather
2.family
3.marilyn monroe
4.taking pictures
5.clothes
6. sleep
7. friends .. well some of them


[Seven things you dislike]
1. hip hop, rap any kind of that music
2. some people at school
3.ohh the people who make marilyn a trend
4. when i am on my rag
5. when i let people walk all over me
6. school
7. annoying people
(seven things on your desk)
1. iced tea bottle
2: camera
3. bracelet
4. computer
5. printer
6. speakers
7. light
[Seven facts about you]
1.i love marilyn monroe
2. i like to shop
3. i am really spoiled
4. i love makeup
5. i wanna be a hairstylist.
6. i wanna rockabilly boyfriend
7. i have never had a boyfriend

i went and finally got another picture host to get a better background and so it looks super awesome now i am so happy THANKS TO HEATHER WHO HELPED ME AND PRACTICALLY DID IT ALL SHE IS A ANGEL !!!!! i went to hillcrest today and i got a red baseball team shirt and then a bright purple petticoat and then some shag stationary and a sailor jerry sticker and a shag kitty sticker for mine and heathers book and i got some cool shades !!! welll i must go study now tootles!! heres a pic of my shades

well i am home and doing nothing a daily ritual of mine that is not meant to happen but does well i had a long long night last night .. my brother had a birthday party with like 9 of his friends and they were a freaking pain omg !!! and i was up all night because they were up all night not one of them went to sleep and so they were up running down the halls at 3 am in the morning when i was trying to get some sleep so i could do some stuff today and i couldnt cause i was freaking tired and i slept for half the day and so i didnt get to do anything and so that kinda sorta sucked yah and then i got home a little while ago i went to zorbas greek restraunt and it was good i had never had greek food before and so yah that was awesome and good needless to say i came home and i was soooo bloated! lol yah i have been trying to study for my drivers ed final like crazy i have to do good on it !!!!!!!!!! cause then maybe i could pass the class if i got a good grade on it! but yah anyway. and then my tutor cant come and tutor me before finals and so that sucks ass cause i know i am going to do bad on it i just know and i will cry like there is no tomorrow i guess i could try to study on my own come straight home on tuesday and just like try to do everything i can cause yah i HAVE to pass that shit. but yah i am going to hillcrest tomorrow i have money finally hopefully i find some cool finds and i will be just dandy happy and yah sooooo.. well i think i have to go notw so tootles

i was just cutting out little odds and ends for my collages for my books and i have the hardest time finding things cause i dont ever get the teeny magazines. lol but yah i found some cool things but yah i have had absolutely been doing nothing t his whole weekend its been a drag i wanted things to do but no one wanted to hang out with me and so that sucked ass and i was all getting mad and stuff but i am over it now cause its sunday afternoon and what coud i possibly do now right?? well i think i am going to make dinner for my family tonight cause it was my parents anniversary on friday and i totally forgot and i was all mad at myself cause i forgot i am such a horrible daughter!! but i helped my mom clean like the whole house for her yesterday and i said it was for thier anniversary and so i think that partially made up for i t and so i was all happy about that. but yah today i didnt reallydo much i went to church and then i went to einstien bagels and i got a bagel and then caffe tazza and i got thier blackforest and it wasnt as good as the one at coffee bean cause those are my favorite

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......... sexiness gohar!